i love apple cider vinegar

God knows I love a good elixir. Tea, coffee, juice, heady liqueur; even warm bathroom tap water can taste like sweet nectar under the right circumstances.

I love it even more when there is Internet-sanctioned bountiful health benefits attached to a liquid (unless I have to go out of my way to buy equipment, learn to do something or grow something). So, sorry laborious juice cleanses, wheatgrass smoothies and herbal tinctures. I think you’re sincerely cool, but just not as easy and delightful as my new tart sidekick: the new future that is Apple Cider Vinegar.

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i'm not ready for kindergarten {blunt moms}

Guys. As parents we all know about nipple cream, cloth diapers, swaddling, treats for toilet training, hiding sweet potato in brownies, temper tantrum safe words and how to caaaaarefully quietly open the wrapper of something delicious that you don't want to share with your kid.

But nobody warned me about the tidal wave hurricane sharknado of emotion that overcomes you when you really really realize your 8 lb baby is suddenly going to SCHOOL.

I wrote a little ditty about it for Blunt Moms. I'd love it if you took a gander.

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i want to be four

The other night I took my 4-year-old down to the grocery store in the ground floor of our building. Yeah, that's right; I live above a never ending flow of food. While most people need to put shoes on and back out of the garage to get cheese, I can rock slippers and be back on my couch slapping slices of Kraft singles into my mouth in about 7.5 minutes.

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missteenussr made this! {vol.2}

Is there any problem a pan of rice krispie treats can't solve?

Well, not if the problem was how to not eat an entire pan in a 24 hour stretch.

They're fucking useless with solving that problem.

Deliciously useless.

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late to the party

I was born with stunted child-like taste buds. Early on it led to embarrassingly extensive 7-11 candy binges. As a young adult it manifested as sad mimosa hangovers, crouched like a frog in front of the toilet as the sugar and alcohol slowly beat the shit out of each other behind my eyes.

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