nuts

Back In September Nuv and I went back to school grocery shopping for him. Because I would not be home at meal times, he would be flying solo in regards of placing edible things in his mouth to break down as fuel. This terrified us both. 
At the Wal-Mart check out, the bulk of the cart consisted of the following:

4 different flavors of Nalley chip dip
4 boxes of ripple chips (that contain 2 small half-full bags. Awesome thinkin' Old Dutch!)
2 flavors of Breyers ice cream (Orange creamsicle and Mackintosh Toffee (currently growing freezer frost)
Large boxes of pizza pops
4 boxes of Cheemo perogies
2 small rectangular boxes of Neilson chocolates

I wish this was an exaggeration, but this is what two almost 30 year old fairly intelligent married people bought for the boy to eat. Truly awesome.
The only items I had any interest in, and only because there was absolutely nothing else in the apartment even slightly resembling chocolate, were the two types of Neilson chocolates.
The nicest thing I can say is they have a very nice red logo in a fetching font. Other than that, they're prime gas station chocolate. I swear to god, deep in the heart of the Neilson chocolate factory is a man in a lab coat and goggles, standing on a platform above the vat of whirling chocolate, delicately eye-dropping a rotten nut concentrate into each batch. I cannot be the only person who has detected that distinct rancid after taste.

Two Christmases ago, Jackie Lark decided to meet up with me at Metrotown while I shopped for Nuv. While I was being solidly suckered into paying $2000 at the Sony Store for a digital camera, camera case, battery charger, extra batteries, extra memory stick and a warranty that took me two years to pay off that Nuv has used approximately twice, Jackie sat outside on the bench eating trail mix. At one point, she came hustling into the store and interrupted the salesman to inform me she had eaten a rotten nut. This couldn't have waited. She needed to let me know while her taste buds were still howling with rage. I'm pretty sure I made fun of her instantly, but shit. I have since then had the distinct non-pleasure of crunching into a rotten nut and the taste stays with you for DAYS. Jackie, I'm sorry. Instead of brushing you off and telling you to go wait outside while the adults finished talking, I should have been much more understanding and quickly scanned the store for some acid to brush your tongue with.