i miss you

Things I will miss when I go back to school and free time is invisible, odorless and foreign:


  • lollygagging online watching 'Intervention' on youtube and generally looking at the world do cool stuff instead of doing it myself

  • spending hours curled up in front of the hall closet mirror on the floor, plucking my eyebrows till there is a small hill of little comma shaped hairs surrounding me

  • getting up and running outside to see the aftermath of the honk war on the corner and maybe, just ONE TIME, seeing an actual accident. fingers crossed.


"You always jump the gun in the wrong direction." Nuv canceled a credit card and went into the kitchen to cut up his card into what looked like 70 million little pieces. I came up beside him when he was picking a fragment off the floor, swept up what was left on the counter into my palm and dumped them into the kitchen trash just as he said "Don't touch those, I'm going to put them into a different garbage." We stared at each other for a beat, he laid the above insult on me, I stifled laughter at his over exaggerated Homeland Security methods of financial information disposal, and so the night went.

Dear Files: When I am no longer doing time in the bowels of the mail room, making sure you and your numbered buddies have full bellies of endless loose pieces of important paper, I will one day come back to say a wistful shy "hello," THEN BURN YOU TO MOTHERFUCKING ASHES.