I don't know where I am

Dear Internet,
Oh my Darling, I have missed you with such passion & fervor.
The three minutes I get in between panicking about my rough Photoshop skills and panicking about my lack of grammatical skills and fear of not being able to write and sell magazine articles without using SCREAMING FUCK type language, I attempt to jump on you and wring out all the salty juice into my mouth. It's just not enough, because I haven't been able to share with you all the pants shitting awesomeness I have been wading through these last few weeks. To best illustrate the life I now lead, let's break it into small digestible chunks, best smeared on a delcious sesame flavored rice cracker.

Driving home from school after 10 PM most nights, the squeegie kids are back terrorizing at Main & Terminal. Ignoring my frantic "nonono" hand signals, one of them smears the dirt around my windshield quick and dirty. I grab a few pennies out of my change cup ( I really don't want to give anything, but what if when he's done, he smashes his fist through the driver side window and punches me hard? My brain is already sloshing and spilling over with all the information I am hard packing into it, and it could just get real messy, you know?) and offer them up to get the reply of "I don't take pennies." Oh, I'M SORRY Sir Class and Grace-ington, how crude of me to think that you'd dare dirty your ivory palms with real money that when added up might be able to buy you out of your shitty life. 

I miss my Husband; I miss my Mama; I miss my friends; I miss the greatest brother in the world; I miss sleep. Ultimately, though, I am so happy I made this choice to jump in the deep end and learn and be around other learners and stomping down the halls of Langara with my hobo bags and giant fat kid lunch sack, I can feel myself feeling better about myself and really, that will make this entire long year worth it. 

Yesterday afternoon I thought I was (FINALLY!) going to see the fresh aftermath of an accident. There was a tooting horn and a crunchy noise out front of the house, and I swiped the blinds out of the way to see........one motorcyclist picking himself up, his bike up, checking his lower leg was still attached to his body, then revving away. ??? Where was the car? Where was the gore? Hmph.

With my Grade A note taking, I have been jotting down keyboard shortcuts for various programs, one being Command/Alt and *gulp* I thought this was an ACTUAL KEY. As opposed to the Mac/PC option for the key. Maybe that's why I scored a stupid 7 out of 15 on my Photoshop Quiz, because for most of the answers I was unable to locate the 'I DON'T FUCKING KNOW AND I WANT TO BLEED RIGHT NOW' key.

Bravely bypassing the giant gazebos of boxed Halloween candy already clogging the back half of Zellers yesterday, I instead picked up a bag of Asian mango gummy candy, and I'm pretty sure the aftertaste of these little cuties shouldn't taste so much like dirt dredged pork chops.