the ghosts of Halloween past

Halloween is coming. I am working for the weekend and can only pray the foster kids don't blow their faces off with illegal fireworks, firecrackers, rigged granny smith apples etc. (Why do Fireworks retailers look like they are only trying to attract toddlers or cavemen? Oversized signs with just FIREWORKS printed in primary colours, spinning lights, those creatures with wind piped up them so it looks like they're alive… Unreal. One of my goals in life is to never go into one of those white trash factories OR a haunted house.)
I did happen to have some amazing photographic evidence of how masterful Mama was over the years at concocting costumes from either a) pyjamas, b) her clothes or c) a combo of both. I must share the magic. 


Let's start with the only child Halloween and the first of many pyjamas into costume shortcuts. Who doesn't love a fake Chinese kid? Look at that mournful smile AND ALL THE GLORIOUS CANDY poking out. And of course the omnipresent layers of clothes under the costume, the cruel fate of North West Halloweens where if it's not raining, it just finished raining and the power went out.


I'm about 5 years old here I think. Smurf pyjamas, yarn, blue eyeshadow and a bucket (I can still smell the inside of that sucker. Plastic-y sweetness.)


This is a mega-last-minute-Mama-forgot-the-next-day-was-Halloween costume. I am an old woman. That is my Grandma's wig. There are hand towels stuffed in the front of the shirt and in the bum. Try going to a 2nd grade Halloween assembly in the gym in this T & A ensemble. Every teacher lost their shit when they saw me.


The first recycling of costumes. This is at the end of the night when Koleman has candy sweat through his makeup and I have decided to wear those yarn braids forever and ever. Seriously, I wore them after school and flipped them around for about a year.


Benefit of having a dental assistant for a Mama - CUSTOM BRACES FANGS. Sure they fell off every 10 seconds but they were radical and SOLD this costume. Koleman was a unibrowed train-riding hobo homeless Union vet vest-loving unibrow.


Sweet Jesus, this post now has a little bit of everything, including black face achieved with black shoe polish and a bathroom absolutely destroyed. Urkel was funny back in the day ok? And my pants might have been pleated. But I was 13 and deemed too old to trick or treat. So, I probably stole borrowed some of Koleman's candy when he was snoring.

Years later, I went out with a friend and we copped to being way too old when the doors were opened, but we danced for candy and it worked.
Sorry 2009 kids, shit was just way better for us.