who's gonna drive you hooooOOOoome tonight?

At the end of this month, my car will be paid off. No big deal, except it has been TEN YEARS since I first leased it. Nuv predicts the day after it's officially mine, the four wheels will flop off, the engine will exhale a gust of black air and then the whole thing will collapse inwards in a whoosh of crumbs, cigarette plastic and bobby pins. 

I have had my own car since I was 16. First up was a hand me down from my beloved Grandpa Henderson, a shit brown 1982 Honda civic that drove standard and man, I loved that car. Here's what it looked like, courtesy of google and my rudimentary photoshop skills.

I remember going down to the 'Excited States' with Grandpa to get milk and ice cream and him using his big right paw of a hand to keep a beat on top of the gear shift knob to any song on the radio. I pretended to be embarassed as he sang along loudly, whether he knew the words or not. But once I had my 6 strawberry Charleston Chews in hand, he could have put on a wig, accordion and cone bra and I wouldn't have noticed.

Even before I was legal, I was allowed to drive Koleman around my Grandparent's circular driveway, mostly with the e-brake on, and sometimes downshifting wildly and stalling out. But if every girl learned how to drive a standard, this world would be a lot cooler.

That car got me through the first years of driving, until it was rear ended by an elderly couple when my Mom was coming home one early winter night, and it was subsequently written off. I was devastated. We happened to be at the car graveyard at the same time as the couple, and my Mom had to hold me back from running over and yelling and crying and snotting at them. My Grandpa had died right around that time and losing that car felt like losing the last tangible part of him.

I then blew through a quick succession of cars. First up, this beauty/gem/radmobile. 

Yes, that might be the greatest outfit I ever put together. And that is the actual hue of my legs-so white they're a gamut warning. This was a dealer's car, the only non Honda I ever owned, and it was stacked with blankets, books and toys for my friends to fuck around with as I drove. Power steering, fake wood panelling and extreme love didn't keep it from breaking down every six blocks so that got traded in for the most impractical vehicle for a young girl with a Mama and brother, this: 

A two seater white convertible with a lid that manually came off and a cassette deck. I remember bumping the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack around White Rock and hydroplaning the shit out of it. It got traded in for a more practical red four door civic that I eventually sold to go travelling. And then I leased the White Wonder for five years and borrowed money from Honda to pay back for another five years. Here it is smiling in the background the day I met Nuv's Mom for the first time, AKA TERRORDOME.

I was fucking shaking on my way to meet her, but, helloooo my hair looks great.

So yeah, the end of October nets me a beast that has been around the way and back a lot. She's a big old slut of a car and I love her dearly. If only for the fact she has kept me off transit for most of my life, I owe her LARGE TIME.