slow ride

After a few weeks off work you'd think perhaps I would have used that time to clear out some sh-t. Be like every single person on my Facebook feed who de-cluttered with vigor and earned that brag. They chipped their tree, halved their kid's obscene toy collections and started that 3 day cleanse, bound to make their bowels forget all about the gas station quality chocolate eaten in the dark where shame can't find them.

I watched. 

Our tree is still up. (January deserves a little sparkle.)
Our Christmas presents are still out, stacked, sprawled. (I want to see them for a little longer.)
Stella and I hate each other's guts. (We never see each other this often. We are both used to being the boss.)
Pajamas won out over clothes. (It rained. We melt. So we stayed inside and danced.) 

What I DID do: 

Exercised every 2 days. I ran. When it was cold, when I wanted to do other things, when I should have done other things. I carved out the time, I took my running shoes and faded sports bra to Victoria, I started using headphones to listen to this audio book to drown out my deep heaving inhales and I just did it. 

I ate conservatively. Yes, there was more cheese and creamy things you spread and chocolate and lovely people who made me gluten free cookies, but I watched portions, drank a lot of water and allowed myself to eat like 20% sh-t (see late night Turtle remorse above) and 80% healthy. It involved more thought and more willpower for sure. I found happiness in other things - the people I never see that I got to embrace and drunkenly remind how much I loved them, and not being tied to my laptop. There is so much more for me now than edible happiness. (There are many more words to be tapped out about this weight loss journey for which I'll save for another post.)

Watched movies. So many movies. Every year I have an insane goal to watch all the movies that are nominated for the Golden Globes and then subsequently Oscars. Pre-child and freelance this was difficult. Now it's downright chore-ish especially in a year where slavery, wrongful imprisonment and f-cked up families were all the rage. But I did pretty well for myself. And if you haven't seen American Hustle, stop and go. It's fantastic and the best movie I saw in 2013. 

Listened to this comedy album by Kumail Nanjiani. It's so funny you guys. His storytelling prowess and the untold stories - so unique and so so good.

Now, first day back at work, I should be feeling like LET'S GO 2014, I will DEFEAT you! Instead, I'm going to ease on in. I can still taste the sweetness of the holidays and I think I'm going to hang on to that for a little bit longer.


Some fantastic writers I know through BLUNTmoms had some more eloquently excellent things to say as one year ended and another began. I was inspired and I think you will be too.

Who Really Cares If You Announce Your Retirement From Blogging? // The Robot Mommy
2013 Best Blog Posts... // Mommy's Weird 
8 New Year's resolutions you can actually keep // Magnolia Ripkin 
The Anti-Resolutions Post // The Nomad Mom Diary
Close the door softly as you go: 2013 in review & an optimistic look at the year ahead // Divorce Doula
Resolve to Find Joy // The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears
2014. My intention // Three Chickens and a Boat
Happy New Year! // Don't Lick the Deck
New Year Resolutions? I'd Rather Love Myself Instead // Multilingual Mama