what else to expect when you're expecting (the guilt)


All the high falutin’ plans I had months ago: swimming, yoga, bonding with other pregnant women in my neighborhood, walking every night, doing kegels at my desk, drying fruit, sitting calmly and reading…ALL BULLSHIT. None accomplished. Zero. I did four kegels once and spent the next two hours dribble peeing.

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the day everything went wrong

Verse: The day had an ambitious start as I hauled Honda to Langara before work to get my Student ID photo taken. I'd awoken early-ish to assemble the pretty parts of my face cohesively, found a great parking spot, found the right room like I was a seasoned student, and then Cheech & Chong's retarded cousin told me I couldn't get it done till August.
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