My eyes hurt. So, I'm wearing my glasses. Glasses that may look like regular vision assistance, but really, they have a secret. They weigh 18 metric tonnes thus carving baby craters on either side of my nose, and squeeze and clamp down on tender spots behind my ears that activate my cranky buttons. Every day I have whipped them off my face and flung them down to take a few deep breaths and not light them, and my eyes, on fire. And don't even worry about me as I continuously twitch and jump because I am constantly seeing imaginary things peripherally. BECAUSE I CAN ONLY SEE THROUGH TWO SMALL PORTALS OF MANIPULATED GLASS. 
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