the day everything went wrong

Verse: The day had an ambitious start as I hauled Honda to Langara before work to get my Student ID photo taken. I'd awoken early-ish to assemble the pretty parts of my face cohesively, found a great parking spot, found the right room like I was a seasoned student, and then Cheech & Chong's retarded cousin told me I couldn't get it done till August. Um, how am I more of a student in August than right now? Please? I cannot handle wastes of time! I want accomplishment! These thoughts ran through my head as I ran back to my car; of course I said nothing of the sort to him. Sometimes my passiveness combined with my complete & utter lack of flirting skills leaves me in the dust, or more accurately, screaming at people driving in front of me on Knight St.

Chorus: The beautiful four wedding pictures we chose to blow up didn't fit into the custom size frames we bought due to a measurement error. Surprisingly, Nuv & I sarcastically yarping about it at each other didn't solve the problem. So, we'll have to trudge back to The Lab (a beautiful photo developing place on W. 2nd filled with light, plants & birds) and get them all re-done. Just once, JUST ONE TIME, I'd like one of our creative endeavors to turn out. The last time we dabbled in framing pictures, after 48 hours of planning, laying out, trimming & holding back punches, I stepped on the glass. Game over. Nuv hung his head, said nothing & went outside to smoke a pack of cigarettes. One day down the road, he will qualify for sainthood.

Crescendo: Gravity loathes my guts: I didn't think it would be possible, but in my thirtieth year I have become less graceful than ever. Either invisible fairies push furniture & door knobs and corners into my path, or I have lost all ability to determine my space in this world and thus constantly slam my soft corners & edges into hard corners & edges. Last night doing a "we're late! "we're late!" hurried trot down Cardero to the fireworks, the toe of my shoe caught an edge in the sidewalk and the sidewalk then became my personal slip 'n' slide. When you're going downhill & you have the athletic skill of a newborn deer, you eat it fast & hard. I once again end up on the ground, crying hard in front of a gazillion strangers, with Nuv crouched beside me making sure I haven't left my chin skin in the gravel. I got up stinging & furious & stomped back in the direction of home for 2 tantrum style steps, until Nuv gently dragged me to watch the fireworks. Even with burning bleeding hands & knees and the knowledge many many people saw me bail & probably laughed (just like I would have) it was still a lovely show. Hobbling back to the apartment afterwards, I once again was so fucking grateful Nuv hasn't asked for a refund on this marriage.