an open letter to TLC

(Hi gang! It's been a while. Let's see if I remember how this works..)

I have loved Kat Von D since her early appearances on "Miami Ink." I just thought she was the bee's knees. Beautiful and talented and covered in tattoos that reflected who she was. And her makeup and hair and style? Swoon. Me, a girl who has always had a hard time expressing herself through something other than (swear) words, to me, she was the feminine ideal.

I was stoked when she got her own show, "LA Ink." Loved the first few seasons, then Hannah and Kim left. And shit went South. Last season I sat mildly gagging as a former "Rock of Love" contestant named Aubry was hired on to manage the shop and basically provide a "villain," I guess. The show stopped being about the art and the lives of the tattooers and more about how much we all fucking hated Aubry. But Kat was too nice (or was asked to step back) and didn't fire her snaggletooth-98-pound-Lee-press-on'd-ass, even after many many fuck-ups and personality clashes with artists and clients.

Two other new "fun" characters were introduced: a sweet New Yawker named Paulie, who was nice enough but not super talented. And a woman named Amy, who even after watching herself on the show, continues to draw her lipstick on like a fresh ripe red asshole, and applies the rest of her makeup just as subtly. She's a pretty girl that lives on "Blargh!" Street. The two of them eventually moved onto another shop after they couldn't cut it in Kat's shop. So, basically last season was me watching and yelling at the tv, with brief respites of amazing tattoos being done.

Yes, it's tv. Could have just turned it off. But I have been with this show from the start. I was invested. First episode of this season? Aubrey gets shitcanned. FINALLY. But, now. TLC, this has to be on you, and how can you think this is a good idea? You are following and filming Aubry and Paulie and Amy in their new shop, where they slag off Kat, ON KAT'S OWN SHOW?

And now, we have Liz. A new shop manager that is so terribly know-it-all that I honestly cannot believe that Adrienne has not smashed her face into the day book and dragged her by the smirk back to Kat's office and been all, "NOPE. NOT DOING THIS AGAIN."

I will continue to watch because I love tattoos, and the art behind it, and Kat herself, and the magnificent, patient Corey Miller, and even that occasionally twee turd Dan, because he too can knock out some gorgeous pieces.

But seriously TLC, you have got to right this sinking ship. There are many artists working at High Voltage, I can see them in the background. They must be good or Kat wouldn't have hired them. Let's meet them! Let's stay in the shop. Let's make this show not so "reality TV" anymore. We don't need a villain. We don't need drama. We just want ink needled into skin, and maybe a few makeup tips from Kat.

Please. I might even then forgive you for your blatant upcoming "Intervention" and "Hoarders" rip offs. See, I can be reasonable.