Did you know I was way cooler when I could eat food the USDA condemns?
Being all mindful and eating odd lettuce leaves (red-veined and with the texture of Gone with the Wind curtains), lightly dressed with a vinaigrette sorely missing mayonnaise, makes me feel lame and old.
Sure, there is a new whiff coming off of me - pure and smart and adult - but there was some element of punk rock, eating like I was still 17, that I have now shed. Being 17 was pretty amazing all told. Despite what my old zine entries may say.
Why do I have such a hard time sucking up the fact I am old now? That I need to be responsible and meal-plan and wash our bedding on the regular and remember to teach my kid things she should know instead of laying flat on my back, balancing a plate of nachos on my stomach and watching the rest of Game of Thrones.
My entire day, once made 75% better because of candy for lunch, can now be derailed by a simple stuttering hiccup from my car as I wind my way up into our parking garage. Because you know what that means. Send out the mindful signal Batman! I have to now investigate what is wrong with my car, which in case you were uncertain, is never easy, free or awesome.
BUT (thank you voice in my head), if I do not persue this noise, no matter what MythBusters or the ilk will tell you, it means when the car is packed with the people I love most in life, it will explode, flip into a ditch then roll off a cliff into a large body of shark-infested water. While I'm at home sneaking a spoonful of mayonnaise. GODAMNIT.