September. The changing of the seasons. The month where both me and my kid busted out into the world. You can smell the wind. Things crunch underfoot. And OH the GERMS.
How are you feeling?
Halfway through the month my kid was knocked OUT from a cold.
Mama took a day off and was the Official Snot Wrangler.
When we hit mid-afternoon, after 20 minutes of voracious protest that she did NOT need a nap, I rounded the corner to see this in the living room:
Not even her favourite thing ever of all time (Super Why on Netflix) could keep those tiny eyelids open.
While she crashed under heavy blankets in a 29 degree apartment, I snuck into her room and got down to business.
What kind of business?
The kind that results in two large (full to gaping) black garbage bags. Because September has gotten under my skin. I want to purge all the things. Get organized. Eliminate clutter. Feel like I can breathe in every square inch of our place.
Oh Stella, while you lay elephant snoring in front of Super Why, I cleaned out your room. Hoo boy. All the tiny things - GONE. All the Happy Meal toys - GONE. All the Dollar Store nonsense - GONE.
Netflix not only aims to entertain and educate, it also provides a fantastic distraction for sick kids and their evil Moms.
She eventually awoke and eventually got rid of all her snot, across her cheeks and smeared across my legs. Demanded a repeat of Curious George and returned to form, jumping off furniture like a monkey. So, I tempted the fates and asked her to come with me to the garbage room in our building.
Two steps out the front door, the diaper genie bag she had agreed to carry split open. We stood there staring at each other and then at the 11 used diapers smattering the floor of the hallway. Fuuuck. Good thing I lost my gag reflex in 2010 after breaking it in the 4th month of pregnancy. Into the dangerously full black garbage bags the diapers went.
As I dragged those bags to the elevator, this goddamn yelling toy she had inherited from my husband's co-worker, who had peeled it off the front of a Japanese magazine, started to talk to us through the bag.
Her head spun 360 degrees as I tried in vain to just TALK LOUDLY OVER THE TOY, jamming the elevator call button.
Stepping off the elevator into the basement, one bag's bottom got snagged and burped out a hacky sack. (HOW THE FUCK DOES SHE HAVE A HACKY SACK?) I reeled back and kicked it so hard into the corner, it pretty much went back to 1999.
Once we were safely back in the apartment I silkily suggested we watch a NEW FUN SHOW OMG on Netflix and she agreed. A bowlful of marshmallows sweetened the deal as The Lorax cued up. Two minutes in I slipped away with another garbage bag. This apartment will be a magnificent minimalist mecca if it fucking KILLS ME.
What I watched in September //
Page One: Inside the New York Times (Documentary Heaven Part One)
Bill Cunningham New York (Documentary Heaven Part Two)
Anchorman 2 (Made it halfway. I wasn't sober and I still wasn't laughing. Le sigh.)
Ramsay's Best Restaurant (Don't watch late at night when hungry. TRUST.)
What are you watching and loving on Netflix Canada? Keep the recommendations coming, yo!
As a member of Netflix Canada's #streamteam I will be giving you the straight goods on what I'm watching each month in exchange for a yearly membership. It's a match made in heaven, really.