Things that are creepy:
When you enter a communal work bathroom with a plethora of empty stalls but choose to go into the same stall that your co-worker is just exiting, then you make eye contact and wink at them. Seriously - don't do this at the office or you will be labelled the "creepy winker." (I was thinking about how to make this even creepier: A) Audibly inhale once you’re in the stall and then make a contented happy place sigh or B) Start laughing uncontrollably.)
Old people teeth which I am suddenly sporting. Despite my increased flossing and intense shower brushing sessions, I can still feel a filmy coating of grit on my teeth. One can only imagine what this is doing to my breath.
Imaginary friends. If my kid ever gets one I will stage an elaborate exorcism. I'm not even Catholic. I don't care. I have seen enough horror movie trailers to know that an imaginary friend is Step One for "And then the whole family went insane and ate each other" headlines.
The movie It Follows which is a 7 on a scale of 1-10 of Do I Need to Be Wearing Adult Diapers While Watching?
Runny egg yolks. While undeniably delicious when seeping into overly buttered toast, if you think too hard about their taste – musty and thick – it's a bit troubling. Like – am I eating a chicken's overblown yeast infection?
Hannibal. There are 2 seasons on Netflix right now. I was told and told and told by my TV Mentor (if you don't have one, you’re sorely missing out) that it was amazing and I was stupidly dismissive because it was on basic cable and don't you know I like my violence and sex to be on fancy cable? Well, somehow they got away with airing the creepiest acts of savagery I've seen in ages to Ma and Pa Kettle on Channel 13 all these years until it was recently cancelled. I'm barely 5 episodes in and I'm already having weird dreams about antlers and Mads Mikkelsen's hypnotic mouth. Have you watched it? I'm seriously abandoning important basics like sleep and meal planning to plough through it.
What are YOUR favourite creepazoid shows or movies on Netflix? Let me know in the comments!
As a member of Netflix Canada's #streamteam I will be giving you the straight goods on what I'm watching each month in exchange for a yearly membership. It's a match made in heaven, really.