There are a lot of terrible insults you can hurl at other human beings. For my money though, one of the worst things you can call someone is a creep.
If it’s a dude, you immediately think of some shady balding mouth-breather with corduroy pants and an unmarked basement suite.
If it’s a woman, it’s even worse than slut.
I met my first creepy girl when I was in elementary school. One hum-drum afternoon I was sitting on the toilet in the Girl’s Room and daydreaming about Guess jeans and boys and what Joey Joe from the New Kids smelled like, when something above me caught my eye.
My classmate had snuck in, taken a silent pee and stood on top of her toilet seat to peer over top of my stall at me. OH HELL NO.
I was the right hand woman of the most popular girl in school. Once we spread the news of this creepy transgression, that girl wore her inherent creepiness like a shroud all the days of our school lives.
How deep does the creep label go? She was the first girl to develop huge unruly Grade School Boobs and the boys DID NOT CARE. Those funbags were attached to the notorious vagina voyeur. That one act sealed her social fate. Forever.
Is that unfair? Maybe? Was what she did creepy as hell? YES.
CREEP IS NOT A RAUNCHY COMEDY ABOUT FANTASY FOOTBALL.
It’s just under 90 minutes of unsettling weirdness, mixed in with parts that make you laugh really hard in spite of yourself and long stretches of me holding my arm up in front of my face to block the TV because OH MY GOD, whatever is about to happen is not appropriate for my Mom sensibilities.
Afterwards you will need a crackling hot bath, 14 hours of cuddling newborn sleepy puppies, and strawberry sorbet to counter the creepiness. But do it. Watch it. Please. It’s a beautifully executed skin crawl.
I’m not posting the trailer because I went into this cold and you should too. Watch at night with 15 blankets and non-crinkly snack options.
The Best of the Rest
I gobbled down every last episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Colour me OBSESSED AND CRAVING MORE.
I’m two episodes into Nashville, which as the Internet promised, is a delicious Velveeta guilty pleasure. My forever girl crush Connie Britton is amazing as always. But my favourite character surprised me - Hayden Panettiere (whose name I spelled right on the first try WHAT) puts on a master class on how to play a character we all love to hate. I only wish I liked country music more because they smear it lovingly throughout each episode.
My kid and I were both sucked into the magic of Dragons: Race to the Edge. She’s only used the show as an excuse to climb into bed with us twice.
I finally started Wet Hot American Summer because I’m an idiot for not watching it sooner. It’s WEIRD, but in the very best way. And the cast is unreal. Like everybody you find funny slammed together. The prequel, an eight episode series that is available TODAY, looks amazing. Man, Paul Rudd just has charm for DAYS.
What are you watching and loving on Netflix Canada? Eventually I'll finish my list, so keep the recommendations coming, yo!
As a member of Netflix Canada's #streamteam I will be giving you the straight goods on what I'm watching each month in exchange for a yearly membership. It's a match made in heaven, really.