my #streamteam october

I feel like every October is a trying month with the amount of wet wetness and dark mornings and that sinking feeling that I once again do not have a cool adult Halloween costume for myself.

October 2016 had a few unique surprises up its asshole sleeve.

I was sick all month. In the midst of a three day stretch where I was mostly just stuffed like a cannelloni in our duvet trying to stave off a flu/cold hybrid, I got a call from Stella's after-school care. She had taken a header into the edge of a metal stair and was en route to the hospital in an ambulance for them to check her out and "maybe get one stitch." I have never slammed myself into clothing and thrown myself into a cab faster. I only cried for a few sentences when I called my husband to let him know what happened as my throat got thick with fear.  

When I ran into the ER, she was sitting, pleased as punch on a gurney, with her head bandaged like a Vietnam vet. DEEP BREATHS. Once we were settled into a private examination room, a doctor unwrapped her head and, no exaggeration, the wound was a tiny MOUTH in her forehead.

talk to me, tiny mouth

talk to me, tiny mouth

I felt a wee bit woozy looking at it. It told me things. I saw things in it. It held secrets and it was wet and red and YEAH more than one stitch.

is there anything sadder than a blood spattered dress wahhhhh

is there anything sadder than a blood spattered dress wahhhhh

The highlight was seriously how tough my kid is. She always pulls it together when it comes to inconvenient pain, whether it's a filling, or a hole to hell in her sweet hairline. She got a popsicle after the stitches were done and that pretty much made it all worthwhile.

my sweet baby angel goon maniac

my sweet baby angel goon maniac

I soldiered on being sick because my body was really feeling it. No energy to exercise and no metabolism at 39 means I put on some weight in my favourite place so it totally looks like and seems like I'm pregnant. THANKS BODY. (#notpregnant)

I also was (and remain) a mucus and cough monster.

One week later I had one day of respite where I felt alive, donated a bunch of clothing to a shelter and even went for a run and BOOM seconds before I went to sleep that night, Stella stumbled in, itching large scary welts all over her body and face. My husband was in the grips of the flu on the couch. PAGING DR. GOOGLE. Seriously - October what is your damage? We spent a few hours in the ER where the welts shrunk down after a wincing mouthful of bright pink Benadryl. Holding a 60 lb kid who is suddenly wide awake while waiting for a non-existent cab at 2 AM outside a hospital in the rain is basically my waking nightmare.

So, that was my month. Thanks for making it this far. I understand it is no fun for anyone reading other's woes but what it DID lead to was a butt-ton of Netflix-ing. Here are the highlights:

When you just want to lay 99% comatose with one hand working at unearthing popcorn from the bag and into your mouth and laugh and wonder aloud to nobody FRED SAVAGE AND ROB LOWE DO NOT AGE...

The Grinder

When you want to feel better about your uneventful, non-murder childhood...

Cropsey

When you want to watch fashion and logistic porn mashed together...

The First Monday in May

When you wonder if technology is really good for you and maybe you should investigate yurt and handmade yogurt but then you remember your parenting is 98% google searches so actually tech and the internet is really necessary...

Black Mirror Season 3

I was going to end the post with sweet pictures of me and Stella carving pumpkins together with the sweet Netflix templates and tools they sent me, but she ditched me to play "Warrior Girl" with her friends in the hallway because the siren song of pumpkin guts and me warning her 566 times to "be careful with the knife!" just wasn't strong enough. Little does she know that now I'm going to eat all the good caramels by myself. Maybe they will be the cure for what ails me.

As a member of Netflix Canada's #streamteam I will be giving you the straight goods on what I'm watching each month in exchange for a yearly membership. It's a match made in heaven, really.