the not-very-fun mom

As a Mom, I am not always present. I am not always patient; I am never excited to play with her and her hodgepodge of toys, dolls and Happy Meal scraps. I hate the hand clapping games and think her iPad games are weird. (Her latest obsession is one where you prep a man to propose to his girlfriend. HOW IS THIS A FUN GAME?)

I work a lot and I correct her a lot. I've been accused of being too strict. I demand a lot of her. I need her to respect me, her Dad and her elders. I want her to think more, problem solve better. I demand that she is kind, brave, quiet and quick, "let's go, let's go, LET'S GO!"

I'm not that fun.

But when I look at these two pictures from our trip away, where it was just me and her and two aunties and an uncle, where she insisted we fall asleep "snuggle buggle-style", where she kissed me full and sweet on the lips when we saw each other after just moments apart, I feel like - fuck yeah, I can be a good Mom.

My super power is I will do anything to make her laugh, even if it's dumb as hell.

I'm not very fun most of the time, but when it counts, I will point to my vagina and smack my ass to make her smile.

the not very fun mom 1 -
the not very fun mom 2 -