If I ruled the world there would be a lot of changes. Nail clippers would be handcuffed to bathroom sinks so you could NEVER do that nonsense in public. Cheese would be a food group. Adult naps would be mandatory. Adults could occasionally act like 3-year-olds and not have to share anything if they don't want to.
But mostly I would demand we re-boot the way we are supposed to eat.
Three meals? NAH.
Three meals and 2 healthy snacks. CLOSER.
Try ALL SNACKS ALL THE TIME.
Maybe it’s my former fat kid metabolism.
Maybe it’s because I have an oral obsession that I have satisfied over the years with: fingernails, finger skin, cigarettes, straws, ice cubes, but mostly food.
Maybe it's because I have celiac disease and I have this recurring panic that I will be stuck somewhere, starving, and not have anything to eat and no options.
It's definitely because, no lie, I could eat all day. I will if nobody is around. Life is what happens when I am not eating. Catch me after 9pm and I am definitely picking something out of my teeth while the chewed up bulk of it gently slides down my throat.
Shockingly, my body doesn’t react well to being fed all the time. The jeans I’m currently wearing are the old ones jammed in the back of my closet that I keep “just in case.” They are not proud jeans. The fit is old and the denim in-between my thighs is whisper thin. I’m…not happy about these jeans.
I know myself. I know my brain. If I tell my body “no more snacks” it will revolt. It will collapse and be miserable and every day will be a slow slog to my death. There is no joy if there is no snacks.
Here’s where being an ambassador to a kick-ass brand has its perks. Bulletproof Coffee has been handily saving my mornings but if I drank their luscious butter coffee blend after dinner I would be up all night reciting the lyrics to Mambo No 5 in my head.
So it was some kind of kismet that my package of goodies arrived this month with ALL THE SNACKS.
Good snacks. Good-for-me snacks. Snacks made with a sugar alternative that doesn’t make my mouth curl up into a sneer. Snacks that are not coated in neon orange powder. Snacks that are gluten-free. SNACKS!
Over the years I have eaten every gluten-free protein bar on the market. They are portable and make great emergency snacks or on-the-go breakfasts. One is always in my bag and when I drove I always had one in the glove box. Some are good. Most are roof shingles. Some bill themselves as “cherry pie” flavour then my mouth reveals a mouthful of raisins and I feel betrayed for like a week. Most are high in calories and ridiculously high in sugar.
So you'll know I speak the truth when I tell you the Bulletproof snacks I received are delicious. Straight up. The cashew butter creates this beautifully firm but malleable texture. The flavours (vanilla! & chocolate!) are strong and authentic. They contain quality fat from Brain Octane® oil and XCT® oil to keep you full. Bulletproof guarantees the ingredients are "delicately processed at low temperature to preserve their natural flavours and to make sure you’re getting the maximum nutrients in every bite."
They are truly all killer, no filler and I will sob a million tears when I power through my boxes of them. Buy yours here.
Whether you need a bridge to the next meal or a sweet hit that isn’t going to spike your sugar so you need a (currently still unauthorized) nap, I highly recommend these bars. 10/10 would snack all the time and not offer to share with friends.
“This is a sponsored post brought to you by 3cConsulting. The opinions are completely my own based on my personal experience with the product”