how to become a successful blogger

Here’s your plan, baby. You’re going to build this blogging career layer upon layer, like a tantalizing dripping sandwich they only serve in ancient deli’s on the East Coast. You will whiz and zing around people’s palates and serve up some mouth watering truth bites that will satisfy a NATION of readers. Your name will drip off their lips as they spray your word crumbs all across the Internet. Wash your hands, baby. It’s time.

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that's paris anthology

My friends, it's February 2nd, the street date for my publishing DEBUT in That's Paris: An Anthology of Life, Love and Sarcasm in Paris.

My words just dropped on the STREET.

My Amazon author page is POPULATED.

My face is sore from smiling like a punk ass WRITER.

Have I ever been to Paris? NO. Does it matter? I HOPE NOT. I still crafted a tiny tale about wheat, my defective guts and Parisian possibilities. 

I SURE DID.

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my #streamteam january

Why is it shoes-with-no-socks weather in Vancouver in JANUARY?

Where are the 17,000 bobby pins I have purchased in my lifetime? (I have 4 left.)

Why is our Christmas tree still up?

Why haven't I gorged on The Fall Season 2 yet?

Why do I wake up at 6am to sweat for 30 minutes and then finish my day up to my tits in Lindt dark chocolate?

Why does the theme song from Unsolved Mysteries still scare the ever-loving shit out of me?

Why has it been so quiet on the blog this month?

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