my #streamteam october

Happy Halloween you wieners! It's been a gross and scary week around these parts, which you can read about here. I'll wait. These 17 fun size tootsie rolls aren't going to eat themselves and then feel rolling guts shame afterwards. 

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when your kid is sick

I take my health for granted which is why when I get sick, you want to avoid me like the *plague. (*Quits day job to go write for Big Bang Theory.)

I’m suddenly the introspective ancestor of the most depressed Bronte sister, all long lopes out of rooms with tears prickling the corners of my eyes, non-blinking gazes out windows, and martyr-like dramatic declarations. “I’ll be FINE. It’s FINE. It’s just a FULL BODY INFECTION really.”

Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I think I’ll go eat more germs.

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making memories the easy way {giveaway}

I take a lot of pictures of my kid but I tend to only film her when she's being totally dumb or weird because I want decent blackmail leverage for when she's older. 

But she needs to stop getting older pretty quickly because I'M SORRY NO. When she's too big for me to swing her over my shoulders when I need her to COME ON NOW, then I will be wrestling-style tapping out and standing nervously on the sidelines with my whole hand in my mouth. Crying and mumbling unclear thoughts about boys, periods, bullies and WHAT ABOUT ELSA AND ANNA? 

Here's the good news.

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want want want {vol.1}

So, if you're keeping score at home you know I own a pair of jungle cats printed tights and a loud floral pair that were scooped up and worn way before they were cool. Both purchased at Targets in the United States. Both well worn and dare I say TREND CHANGING? (Frantically searches through the Vice Magazine Do's)
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