how to kill a wasp in 37 easy steps

We live in the city so in the summer time we can confidently have screen-free doors and windows flung wide. Typically the worst thing brought in by the wind is a layer of thick drunken “WOOOOO’s!” that float up from a club’s exit in the alley around the corner.

Unlike the suburbs where I grew up, insect intruders are few and far between. Or maybe they know that just because I have lived in the city for 8 years, I still have that no-nonsense suburbs sensibility.

To be clear: if you have more than 2 legs and I didn’t expressly invite you into the home I pay for, prepare to die.

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three ridiculous things my kid said this week

Having a kid is almost as entertaining as Netflix.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!

*Wipes tear-streaked face with giant towel. Stares out window for a while to catch my breath.*

No. No, it's not. One thing will keep spoon feeding you delicious television shows and movies and occasionally checks in to see if you need to take a pee or snack break.

The other thing will interrupt all your viewing satisfaction, holler at you when she needs poo wiped from her butt, and then either beg for all your snacks or hover close to them asking repeatedly what you're eating, then make exaggerated interpretative "EWWWW!" noises and faces.

Clearly one of those things is better than the other.

But I already wrote about Netflix this month, so Stella stories it is...

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why you and your vagina need to see Magic Mike XXL {bluntmoms}

As IF you need my prompting.

But, here you go.

It's better than the first movie.

It's kind. It's smart. It's SO FUCKING FUNNY. It likes The Backstreet Boys.

And the dancing is ridiculously great. Beyonce would be jealous.

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