how to become a successful blogger #bestofmissteenussr

{#BestOfMissteenussr ~ originally published February 2015}

Here’s your plan, baby. You’re going to build this blogging career layer upon layer, like a tantalizing dripping sandwich they only serve in ancient deli’s on the East Coast. You will whiz and zing around people’s palates and serve up some mouth-watering truth bites that will satisfy a NATION of readers. Your name will drip off their lips as they spray your word crumbs all across the Internet. Wash your hands, baby. It’s time.

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urine trouble #bestofmissteenussr

{#BestOfMissteenussr ~ originally published March 2015}

I don’t want to brag, but after four years at the position, I am now a very good Mom. This has nothing to do with effort, tactics, instincts or passion for the job. This has everything to do with me being open to asking for help when I get stuck, having the luxury to take breaks when I need them, and having a child who 99% of the time will do what I ask.

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i'm a follicle failure #bestofmissteenussr

{#BestOfMissteenussr ~ originally published June 2015}

Everywhere we go, everyone who hasn’t seen Stella in the last few months coos, "Oooh, her hair is getting so long.”

I struggle with my answer. Do I say with pride and good posture, "Thank you. It's amazing what happens when working Moms don’t make time to take their kid to the hairdresser."

I don’t know.

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how to kill a wasp in 37 easy steps #bestofmissteenussr

 {#BestOfMissteenussr ~ originally published July 2015}

We live in the city, so in the summer time we can confidently have screen-free doors and windows flung wide. Typically the worst thing brought in by the wind is a choir of thick drunken “WOOOOO’s!” that float up from a club’s exit in the alley around the corner.

Unlike the suburbs where I grew up, insect intruders are few and far between. Or maybe they know that just because I have lived in the city for 8 years, I still have that no-nonsense suburbs sensibility.

To be clear: if you have more than 2 legs and I didn’t expressly invite you into the home I pay for, prepare to die.

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